Grandma. Daddy

MEMORIES.  

Today I looked through my grandma's closet. It wasn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. I saw her great shoes, classic purses, and crisp dress shirts. Come to think of it...I didn't even SEE a t-shirt! Grandma Sara had great style. I'd like to think some of it was passed down to me, too :-)

  Man...I miss her so much! I mean, I knew I would but dang! Sometimes its hard to be in her house. Other times I spend the whole time in her room looking through her closet or lying in her bed. I miss her playing in my hair right after I get it done. She was always so proud of me. Even when I screwed up!

    I wish I could talk to her. I hate I didn't get a chance to introduce her to my future husband. She would have loved him. One of the last times she talked she asked me when I was getting married. It hurt because I knew if it wasn't soon that she wouldn't be there to see it. Now she won't. I look forward to introducing both her and my Daddy in the new system. They'll both be so proud of me and the woman I've become (by then).

Talking about daddy is a whole 'nother ball game. It's been ten years since he's been here. Death sucks. He didn't get to see me go to Middle School, or High School....heck not even 5th grade. Losing daddy hit hard but not until later. I understood he was gone and what had happened (I was 10), but it all somehow seemed unreal. It seemed like he was just gone and he'd be back in a month or so. Of course, that didn't happen.

I've learned to cope with losing them both...I guess. I suppose I'm doing better than most considering.